this is like the first time i’ve lost my voice.

and it is frustrating coz u cant talk freely, or sing your fav song.

but thanks to the friends who 主动 come talk to me, and that cheered me up a little.

every crucial time like this, i havta fall ill.

and the cough syrup this time taste totally horrible.

本来still feel okay de, den aft taking the syrup i feel like puking and my whole mouth goin numb –.-

so no choice i had to swallow two pieces of chocolates which defeats the whole purpose of curing cough. Best thing is even aft eating the chocos still got the disgusting taste left in my mouth.

i m DEFINITELY goin to ask for tablet next time ZZ

last week i din noe how i survived, bt apparently it is harder to survive this wk. 27 apr is such a monster tuesday. And i dun get to rejoice for very long with the physics test on thurs.

 

when can we really hav a break? T_T

 

Watched phantom of the opera again.

I still don’t like Raoul :( paiseh no offense.

Had to skip the part where christine returns phantom the ring and he let her leave with Raoul, before tears take over me.

But the ending was unavoidable, with the imagery just sets us thinking.

 

sometimes we really do judge people by the face,

and neglected them, and discriminated them.

so is it his fault for seeking the violent way of getting revenge?

 

it may be easy for us to say he could have chosen to be a good guy,

but how many so far could do that when tortured so inhumanly when young, even abandoned by ur own mother who hated u simply because of your deformed face.

he only needed love, and care, which no one gave him.

 

but one thing the phantom forgt: a beautiful heart wins any surface appearance

and self pity will just destroy ur own heart.

 

I wished that he had a gd life aft christine was gone. perhaps he went to write music secretly for opera house, perhaps he performed magic shows for living, or design architectures. These are unknown but two things i m absolutely sure.

1. He learnt to face himself, abandoning the mask.

2. He loved Christine for the entire life.

i’ve been getting in bad mood these days :(

sorry if i ve affected anyone.

lost heart for everything, anything.

and the enthusiasms became shorter.

 

i almost forgot how it feels like to laugh like mad.

until mdm loh showed us the very funny video ysd.

until we laughed our hearts out in hostel during lunch.

until the prac with rong which turned out to be hilarious :D

 

but the laughing did not last.

and i couldn find it back tday.

coz i m stuck in between the grey areas again

and fought my brain strongly to stop thinking in two perspectives.

 

ar nvm, i will be fine tmr.

thx. at least drawing help to distress alittle (:

 

phew writing down makes me feel so much better, though in an abstract way xP

 

byes for now~

 

in the heart of fire,

there lies a lilac.

unable to scream

unable to cry

yet its petals burn

beautifully in the flame.

 

scotched,

tomented,

hurt.

 

furious red

swirling purple.

all merging into one

the best match you can ever find.

 

and you’d never notice,

how the lilac tore itself apart

from the inside

 

it vanishes forever.

but its beauty remains

 

is that how it should end?

or someone could have pulled it out

from the fire.

 

there was a choice.